Dentists...and why I hate receptionists.

This is why I hate going to the dentist. I realize that this story may not be the most interesting, but it was actually pretty entertaining to experience. I won't mention the location of the dentist office because I really do like my particular dentist. I just got a little enraged at the lack of information given to me as a patient.

Here it goes:


"No, Scott. You have to pay for this visit right now. It's like going to the grocery store. You can't get food from the store without paying before you leave" The lazy eyed and plump-framed receptionist spoke to me with complete disregard. She hated me. I was young. I had the life she always wanted. I probably looked like some guy she wished she had coupled with in college.

"Oh... I... See.. I just thought that's what I pay my insurance company to do. I pay them, to pay for my groceries." I replied with hate and an edge to my voice.

"Well... they only pay for some things. We need 101.32 today from you." She stated defiantly.

"Wait,  Wait. You didn't tell me this shit before I walked into that damn room, sat in the chair, and let you use your little tools on my canines. What the hell is that? Do you treat all your 'Customers' like this?" I put a heavy emphasis on the word customer just so she would know that I did not in fact mean patient.                                          

"Greg, this is industry standard. This is how most dentist offices work. You pay at the time of treatment, there is no way around it." She said sternly.

"Well, I don't just have $101.32 in my pocket. I don't even get paid until the 22nd. What are you gonna do about that." I lied. I didn't want to pay her. I wanted them to suffer. "And I didn't even get a new toothbrush."

The plump receptionist was quickly reinforced by a more plump receptionist, whose gaping maw was still chewing on something she was quickly trying to finish, I had a feeling they were cookies, sugar cookies. She swallowed it, (or them) down, straightened her out-of-date blouse that detailed some god-awful rose print. I almost turned for the door before she started speaking to me in a rushed and urgent manner.

"Greg, this really is a serious matter-" She started in on the conversation, I was not going to allow them to double team me. I am the Shogun Master of the Art of War.

"Alright." I interrupted, "I do believe that Ms. (I look at the name tag) Reily and I were having a conversation. Would you kindly, step away, and have some manners. I don't take kindly to harassment." I am a master. She blushes and her mouth drops open before snapping shut. She sits down.

I turn to Ms. Reily. "Ok. So. I realize that for services rendered, there is a price, I am ok with paying such a price. I am just not ok with being demanded to pay it as I walk OUT of the building. No one told me anything about when I should have to pay. The best I can do is the 22nd. Ok?" I cool down, obviously. There's no reason I should still be an asshole. I do still owe THEM for their service, I can understand that.

"Yes, sir. I'll just a note here in your file that you'll be in on the 22nd."

"Thank you. I really do appreciate it.

"Of course, sir."

I turn before anything else could be said and through the reflection in the front office glass of the two receptionists staring with open mouths. I laughed and pushed open the door.

- The Danger Kid

(Picture taken from Deviantart.com)